|
John,
I know you said to me not to be in a hurry to write you my thoughts after our “extremely
heavy” discussion and to take some more time to think about things though I feel that I should
write about some things now while they’re still fresh in my mind. Remember Dr. McKibbin said
before that it’s a good idea to write down my thoughts while they’re fresh or otherwise my mind
will go blank the longer I keep waiting. Maybe I should’ve had my laptop there when you and I
had our discussion or I could’ve just penciled my notes onto a scrap piece of paper just like
you had a pen and were writing down points on the sides of the printout that you had, this way I
would’ve remembered everything we talked about for when it comes time for me to E-mail you. I
might send you more thoughts later on when they come to me. Anyway first off, I didn’t mean that
she had “interrupted” my thoughts. I guess I just used the wrong word again like when I said
that I’m a “hypocrite” to still be talking to and seeing my friends while I’m no longer seeing
Carol. Again, I said in the message that I sent you last Saturday
(on the 14th) that maybe you know some terms that would be more appropriate for me to use when I
describe these things instead of using terms such as; hypocrite, interrupting, etc. I remember
you told me last Thursday that I shouldn’t hold people accountable for interrupting my thoughts
though that thing about the pajamas wasn’t the first time something like this has happened and
this seems to happen to me a lot when I’m about to say something like for example I was about to
say to my mom that we could throw away the one pair of pajamas because I knew that I had two
good spare pairs just when she suggested that I wear one of my old pairs. And before we move
away from the pajamas stuff, I also remember last Thursday you asked me why I didn’t throw away
those older pairs of pajamas that were waiting to be thrown away. We meant to sort through them
but we didn’t get around to doing so, and we did throw away a few of those pairs after the
argument. And I hope you won’t take this the wrong way and think that this thing about the
pajamas is still bothering me if I show these two excerpts in which I said the same thing
twice:
Sunday June 15,2008:
> ...The subject being about “pajamas.” If “combining the top and bottom to make a new pair”
(which is just
> one area of the subject) was what she meant when she suggested “that I wear one of my old
pairs,” I
> don’t see why she had to also talk about a different area in the same subject that wasn’t
necessary and I
> don’t see what it had to do with what I was talking about...
And then further down in the same message where the above excerpt came from:
> ...And I don’t see how it could be true that she didn’t remember that I had two good pairs
of pajamas or that
> she had a lot on her mind if the reason why she suggested that I wear one of my older pairs
was about
> combining the top from that pair with the bottoms on an older pair to make a new pair...
The reason why I show both of those excerpts...The first one came before I talked about what
my mom said about the weather when we had the storm, and then the second one came after I talked
about the weather stuff and when I started to talk about the pajamas again. If I didn’t write in
that message what’s shown in the second excerpt and I instead immediately after talking about
the weather stuff just jump in and say quote “speaking about the pajamas” and then I talk about
the two nights before when I didn’t sleep good and about the Chinese dinner that we were suppose
to have the next day, then you might’ve wondered why after I finished talking about the storm
stuff I would then say nothing other than “speaking about the pajamas” before moving onto the
stuff about the Chinese dinner. Or I don’t know, maybe the second excerpt should’ve came right
after the first one and before I talk about the weather stuff. Now, you thought at first that
I’m wasting energy when I write my messages to you where I go on about the same thing like for
example when I went on about the pajamas until you realized that I had added a bit more
information when I said that same thing the second time.
And here are a few other things that I would like to point out after our discussion:
• I know that my mom is not a weatherman, I already knew that she herself
could’ve been wrong right from the point when she said quote “maybe tomorrow will be a nice day
seeing how those weather guys seem to always be wrong lately.” I also knew from the beginning
that those weather guys aren’t always wrong.
• Until my dad said that he was suppose to respond to that invitation, the three of us were
“having a conversation” which I know is a normal thing that lots of people do and then after he
said that about responding to the invitation I just thought that I would keep the conversation
going which I assume is also a normal thing that people do when they have a conversation. I
tried to keep the conversation going by being social and asking him whether or not he was going
to the engagement party after he brought it up about the “engagement party” by saying that he
still needed to respond to the invitation, I didn’t know myself at that time whether or not he
made up his mind if he was going. And if it was okay for my mom to have gone say if Carol was
still my worker and would’ve been able to stay with me, I would’ve been okay myself if the day
came of the engagement party and then earlier that day my mom decided that she wasn’t feeling
well and changed her mind about going. It isn’t
my concern whether or not
my mom feels up to going to some party that I
myself know I wouldn’t be going to and therefore I wouldn’t have got upset if she changed her
mind and didn’t want to go, I would’ve been okay with that.
• Now if you thought that the reason why my dad kept saying “I don’t know” might’ve been so
that I wouldn’t be triggered, I don’t see why he would’ve thought that I might get mad at
that time if I told you that the three of us were having a nice conversation up til then.
Maybe this “interrogating people when they say things in a way I don’t understand“ is another
habit that Ihave to break just like one habit I have that was talked about at our very first
meeting with FVMH back in February and that I agreed I also need to try and break which I tell
my mom every time Chloe does something like when Chloe leaves the couch for example I say to my
mom, quote “Chloe left the couch.” I also said this to my mom last Thursday after you left and
she then said, quote “we all have habits that we should break.” And that I understand is normal
and I can agree with this, everyone has habits that they need to break.
I remember you said when you were here last Thursday about how I don’t know a lot of people
and that I’m in the minority while the majority wouldn’t talk any differently than the way my
mom talks and even you yourself are in that majority. At least I hope that Carol is one of the
few people in the minority. And Carol driving up in her car and then her and me driving off into
the sunset was not the way that I predicted I’d live with her. One thing to keep in mind is what
I said two messages ago about the fact that I think Carol would be a good candidate for me to
live with seeing how I feel confident that she is someone who I would never hit. And I didn’t
plan to keep writing to her until I’m 90. I also hope that Carol doesn’t get sick as much
as my mom who was really feeling awful two afternoons ago (on Friday afternoon), and you
know it seems lately I write to you that my mom feels sick almost as often lately as every week.
Because my mom didn’t think that she would feel up to running out and looking for a gift for my
cousin, Jeff, and because she knew that I wanted to go with my dad the next morning and trade my
fish in, she thought that the best we could’ve done was to give them a nice $50 bill (one
of the newer $50 bills) though luckily she did feel a bit better after she laid down on the
couch for a few hours that afternoon and managed to fall asleep when doing so. She decided to
run over to the Semiahmoo Mall after supper that same day and managed to find a card, some tea
towels, and some cookbooks all for them.
At least you’re getting a better idea though about where I’d like to live and what kind of
place I want to live in. When we went for our walk last Thursday, remember we saw a house for
sale on the North side of 18th Avenue not long after we turned onto 18th off of 137A Street. I
noticed that the garage on this house is still attached to the house though is not underneath
any of the second floor, I told you in the previous
E-mail (the one I sent you last Wednesday) why I wouldn’t want to
sleep right on top of a garage. I’d also benefit living in this type of house seeing how another
reason why I moved into the other bedroom five years after we moved into this house is because
the time when I changed bedrooms was around the same time when we got a second vehicle after
having only one car for many years, my dad therefore had to install an electric opener on the
side of our garage that’s right underneath the first room I was in and this opener that he
installed is louder than the one on my mom’s side of the garage. I would’ve been waken up every
morning when my dad leaves for work if I had stayed in that room, I can sleep through him
leaving some mornings now that I’m in the room in which I’m not as close to the garage door
opener. Maybe if I take my mom over that way sometime to show her the fountain and I take a
picture of the fountain using the camera on her cell phone, I could also take her by the house
that we saw for sale on 18th and get a picture of it. Now next to this house on 18th that we saw
was for sale, remember we saw an even bigger one next door to it that’s front yard was fixed
up really nice (this might’ve been the one that you said it’s driveway was nicely
landscaped) though “this house was not for
sale .” I told you in one
of the previous messages why I’m not sure about the idea of gables and I can’t remember whether
or not this fancy house that we saw on 18th has gables but even if it doesn’t, I wouldn’t want
to live there anyway seeing how it’s on a busier Street. I also wouldn’t want to live in either
that Cape Cod house that we saw on the corner of 138th Street and 17th Avenue or that mustard
colour one around the corner from it because both of those houses are close to Ray Shepherd
elementary school. If you don’t remember which of those intersections is 138th and 17th, then
you could look at those maps that I made and then sent you a few messages ago. Anyway, I don’t
know if those houses are closer to Ray Shepherd than mine is to Bayridge Elementary, I can hear
the school bell when it rings during the school year. And remember I said about how it seems
that nobody who lives in that neighbourhood (that one on the other side of 140th Street
in which all those big houses are) and who have hedges which their tops hang over the sidewalk
keep their hedges cut back, and then I said that if one of those houses was my house I would do
the right thing and make sure my hedge gets cut back away from the sidewalk. I guess I could
hire someone to cut back the hedges for me.
About the engagement party itself now, my dad left our house at around 3PM yesterday
afternoon. First he stopped in at my grandparents’ (his parents’) place in Abbotsford
where he had a visit with them before it was time to leave for the dinner. My grandparents rode
with my dad to the dinner which was in the banquet room at the Ramada Plaza Hotel in Abbotsford,
right next door to the Castle Fun Park if you ever heard about that place. My dad and my
grandparents were the first people there, they were there before my cousin Jeff or his parents,
my auntie Karen and uncle Robert, got there. Karen’s grandson, Ben, was the only kid who was
there and my dad learned at the dinner that Ben is “smart and articulate.” One day last week
when my auntie Karen had Ben for the day, they were out in the car when Karen drove through a
yellow light and Ben said out loud quote “Grandma, that’s a caution, you’re suppose to stop.”
Could you believe that a three year old could say that exact phrase? And my dad saw at the
dinner that Jen, the girl who Jeff’s engaged to, has a tattoo of a scorpion on her shoulder. My
dad thinks this would probably be from her younger days.
I remember you said about you’re not going to tell Scott that your contract with him is just
about up, you know that I’m not like him so I therefore myself would be okay if you let me know
ahead of the time when your contract with me will end. Remember I said that what I would’ve had
with Carol if she didn’t stop working with me was like an unlimited or a permanent contract, she
kept telling me that she would always have me and Jennifer, that girl who I told you that Carol
also does respite for, after she (Carol) retires.
Here are a few excerpts that you weren’t clear about:
> When my mom walked over to get the mail yesterday afternoon, she saw that there
isn’t a license
> plate on Logan’s car, so maybe he isn’t driving again right now...
> ...my dad phoned my auntie Karen two nights ago (on Monday evening) because he didn’t know
whether or
> not he’s suppose to bring a present to Jeff’s party. When he told her that I plan to go with
him earlier that
> same day (on Saturday morning) and trade in my betas for a store credit, she told him to save
two of my
> male betas for her so I said to my
dad a few minutes later once he got off the phone that he could save
> two and then take them out to her one day. I also plan to save two of the good looking
females for myself
> seeing how the mom died a few weeks ago, this way I’ll be able to breed again.
And I made it out with my dad yesterday morning, our first stop was Fish World at 64th and
Scott where we traded approximately 25 of my betas. My credit at that store is now up to a total
of $43 including credit that I still have leftover from previous times when I traded my fish
there. We kept four of my male betas and two of my females, two males for my auntie Karen who
you just read in one of the above excerpts that she wanted a couple and the other four for
myself seeing how the father’s getting old and the mother had already died. In addition to
keeping those ones, we also kept the six female betas that we had left in the jars because
they’re not big enough to trade in yet and we kept one runty one that we had in one of the
barracks. My dad moved those six females from the jars into the ten gallon fish tank (the
one on top of the five gallon) yesterday after we got home. I didn’t buy anything at Fish World,
they didn’t have too many fish in their tanks so we assumed that they must be due for a
shipment. We then went for lunch at the McDonald's location at 70th Avenue and Scott Road, right
outside Scottsdale Mall. I had my usual ten piece McNuggets with medium fries and a medium
Sprite, my dad had a Chicken Classic burger which came on a square bun and he had a coffee to
drink. That was a nice McDonald's location for me to go to seeing how it had a lot of dark
tables and I also like that one compared to the one at King George and 64th Avenue or the one on
72nd Avenue at King George because you have to be buzzed into the washroom at both of those
locations. After lunch, we walked across to the Scottsdale Mall but I didn’t buy anything at the
pet store there either. Something neat that we saw right outside the pet store (the one
in Scottsdale Mall) is what looked like a baby buggy in which instead of putting a baby, you’d
put either a dog or a cat in it. My dad thought those would mostly be used just when someone
would take their pet somewhere where there are a lot of people. After the mall, we drove across
to the Tim Hortons location on 72nd Avenue, right in front of Strawberry Hill where my dad
bought two donuts for me; a Vanilla Dip with chocolate sprinkles and a Maple Dip. Even though
the coloured sprinkles are my preference, it’s not too often I find a chocolate sprinkle at Tim
Hortons so I thought that I’d better get one while I saw it. I had the chocolate sprinkle for my
afternoon snack yesterday after I got home and my mom went out to Safeway this afternoon and got
me a seafood salad to have for my supper tonight, I will have the Maple donut for dessert after
I have my salad. After Tim Hortons and before coming home, we drove up to the “Roger’s Aquatic
and Pet Supplies” on Scott Road near 82nd Avenue where we saw a new kind of beta cage in which
the beta can swim around in circles. If we had my mom’s cell phone with us, I could’ve taken a
picture of that beta cage to send to you.
My mom was showing me the Safeway flyer a few days ago in which we saw that they’re suppose
to have Canada Day donuts and a big rectangular Canada Day Cake. It didn’t say what kind of cake
it was or how many different kinds it’s available in it comes in more than one kind. Remember
back at Christmas Safeway had the Chocolate Dip donuts and long johns that had red and green
sprinkles, these Canada Day ones that we saw advertised in Safeway’s flyer are the same as those
Chocolate Dip donuts with pink sprinkles that you saw me have from Safeway a few times except
the Canada Day ones have red and white sprinkles instead of pink ones. It also showed in the
flyer that you could either get a pack of six of the standard round Canada Day donuts with holes
in their centers or a pack of six Canada Day long johns. When my mom went to the Peninsula
Village Safeway this afternoon to get my salad, she took a look in the dessert section and saw
that they didn’t have any of the Canada Day stuff out yet that we saw advertised. I also said to
my mom that if we do find those donuts sometime I wonder if they might come in packs with say
three round ones and three long johns. And then my mom said, “probably not” and that we’d
probably have no choice but to get them either just one way or the other. If it comes to that,
I’d prefer a pack with just six of the round ones. A few days after we saw the Safeway flyer,
the Save-On flyer came in which they advertised packs of six Canada Day cupcakes. I think my
mom’s homemade cupcakes are a bit better than the grocery store bought ones, you might know what
I mean, though I don’t remember how long it’s been since the last time I had Save-On cupcakes
and the only store bought cupcakes that I’ve had within the last few years are Safeway ones. I
don’t know whether or not these Save-On Canada Day cupcakes would be any better than Safeway’s
cupcakes.
Metrotown was the first stop for my parents after they left the house when you were with me
last Thursday. You should obviously know that they didn’t find a gift for Jeff that day after
reading earlier on in this message that my mom had to run out the next evening and buy a
few things for them, and all of the T-shirts in the Sears at Metrotown have tags sewn in the
side (or in the bottom). After they left Metrotown, they stopped at that shopping center at
Marine Way and Byrne Road where there’s a London Drugs and a Mark's Work Wearhouse. They looked
in Mark's and saw that their T-shirts have writing in the back of their necks and no tags
anywhere inside. They had three different shades of blue to choose from. And then after
Mark's they picked up a few things I needed from London Drugs. On their way home from Burnaby,
they stopped at a little produce place that recently opened at 32nd Avenue and 140th Street
called “Elgin Market” where they picked me up some raspberries which I had with brown sugar for
my dessert after supper that day. And then for my evening snack that same day, I had some more
of those Mint Crisp M&Ms that I told you we got that time a few weeks ago when I was with my mom
at the Save-On in Scottsdale Mall. After the first time when I had these for a snack, I thought
that I was only having half and that there would be enough left in the bag for only one snack
until I went to have these for the second time last Thursday evening when we realized that
there’s still enough left in there for one more snack for me after what I had on Thursday.
Yesterday morning not long after my dad got up, he saw a squirrel in the birdfeeder eating
birdseed and he saw Izzy laying on the ground underneath the birdfeeder. And the morning on
the day before (on Friday morning) before my dad left for work, he saw a hawk flying around
our backyard. The crows were bugging it and bombing it, and my dad tried to take a picture of
the hawk but he wasn’t quick enough. My dad told me that one thing about his “Canon PowerShot
SxIS” is that it’s good for taking bird pictures because it’s got a good zoom can zoom up close.
Speaking about pictures, my dad and I were up last Wednesday evening (on the 18th)
looking at some of my grandparents’ pictures that we had sitting in a box in our family room. My
grandma (my dad’s mom) said that we could take whichever of those pictures from that box
that we wanted to keep and she told us to then pass the rest on to my uncle Gordon, my dad’s
brother. And I myself saw some interesting ones in there, both ones from way back and ones that
were taken more recently, that I suggested to my dad I could scan and then send to you. He
responded and said that I could just show you what’s in the box one day when you’re here though
I’d probably end up scanning whichever ones we end up keeping anyway to ensure that we have
spare copies.
I told my mom last Thursday right after you left about the green cat spring that’s been
hidden in the letter holder on our kitchen wall for the last three weeks. About a half an hour
after you left that day, my dad opened the kitchen cupboard to put away the stuff that they got
for me from London Drugs earlier that day when he found the orange furry cat toy on one side of
the cupboard door and a red thing on the other side. And then a half hour after that when my mom
was setting up my TV table for me in the living room, she opened the other kitchen
cupboard (the one in which we keep our dishes) when a blue ball fell down. Isn’t that one
getting to be an old trick, John, that wasn’t the first time you hid either a ball or something
else in that same spot (on top of that same cupboard door). Anyway, a few minutes after
my mom finished setting up my table when I went to close the door between our dining room and
the kitchen, I couldn’t get it to slide all the way shut so I then looked up and saw your red
spring. You knew that I would be closing that door not long after you left, you must’ve planned
for me to find this one right away. Now when I showed my mom your red spring inside the sliding
door, she said quote “oh my goodness, what are we gunna do with that guy.” And two nights
ago (on Friday evening) when my dad went to get the aquarium towel off the TV tables, two
balls and a mouse fell down.
Also not long after you left last Thursday, my mom went to get something out of the fridge
when the thing that holds the shelf on the door broke. We can’t get a replacement part for it
because it’s an old fridge so my dad’s using duct tape to hold it together for now, and even
though my mom keeps saying that the duct tape seems to be holding it together really good I
myself think that we’re due for a new fridge seeing how we bought that fridge back in 1992 when
I was only ten years old.
See you tomorrow at 1PM.
-Neil
|