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hi Neil
Friday isnt a good day for me because I take my mom
shopping or catch up chores.Seeing Kris on the17th is fine. Maybe i'll take Thursday the 14th o
ff as worked one extra day last month.I think we should ask Larry if he could work August the
8th . If you didnt need a worker all the time your parents could see a lot of the relatives.Your
parents sacrifice a lot to make you happy.
You know its your mom who is flexible.She's been
opposed to you changing appointments but in the end you didnt have to do anything you didn't
want to.Your not working with the volkswagon man and Brenden didnt come over. All families go
through disagreements and arguments .Thats just part of life for everyone. Don.t think your
being singled out.
• Remember that I had planned for you and I to
have a Chinese dinner on Saturday Mar.1,2008 but then I wasn’t feeling well and wanted to
postpone it to two days later, but even though she agreed to do so in the end my mom wasn’t
flexible at first about changing it.
It seems your definition of flexible is having your mom agree right away .I
think your mom just doesn;t want to inconvenience me and wants to make sure you couldnt follow
through on the original plan.
If you want my thoughts on Carol just re read my
previous emails about her. Your parents aren't getting away with anything by saying the
relationship with Carol has ended .Simply because it has . You are the only one who could try
and communicate with her again .Your an adult . Its not your parents responsibility to try to
get Carol to work with you .If they thought Carol would have worked with you again they would
have persued it.
This is a heavy email . The one you sent me is heavy
to. I have to address it though because it seems its always everybody elses fault things arent
going your way.
I\m celebrating Mothers day tomorrow as im working
with you on Sunday ,We're going to Steveston for lunch .I think its going to be a nice day ,Any
plans for Sunday? Cheers for now...John
----- Original Message -----
From: Neil McRae
To: bubzulu@shaw.ca
Sent: Friday, May 08, 2009
Subject: Mom and me
John,
You’ve now let me know that August 8th isn’t good for you because it’s your wedding
anniversary, but you still haven’t told me after I asked you in
the same previous message
if next Friday (the 15th) is good with you because I have my dentist appointment on
the day before (on Thursday). And in addition to these dates, is it okay with you if we go
see Kris on Sunday May 17th?
Now if Carol was still my worker, she probably would’ve given that day because I think she
would’ve wanted to see my mom go to the wedding with my dad. I told you before that my mom
doesn’t see our relatives as much since Carol stopped working with me.
That was Judy who you heard come on the phone yesterday when my cousin, Jenny, was just about
done recording her message. And it’s funny that you asked me in
your previous response
if I’m a second cousin again and then you said that it’s better than being a monkeys uncle after
Jenny phoned us last Monday after supper (on the evening of May 4th), my dad answered the
phone and told her his big news for that day...that he’s now a great uncle again so Jenny
asked him what that makes her. He then told her that it doesn’t make her anything because she’s
on the wrong side of the family.
I haven’t gotten around to discussing this with you (via E-mail) since it actually happened
last month that my mom wasn’t flexible about rescheduling our meeting with Brendan, the
behavioralist. I know that he’ll be getting in touch with you soon if he hasn’t already. Now
even though you said that it all got solved in the end after my mom wasn’t flexible at first
about rescheduling, this can’t continue to happen and I told you that I don’t want to keep
having fights with my mom. I think that this should be addressed, I told you that it didn’t go
down without a fight when I wanted to change the meeting with Brendan because I slept horribly
on the night before the day he was suppose to come and here are the other instances that I
talked about in previous E-mails when my mom wasn’t flexible about changing things:
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• From the E-mail I sent you on
Sunday Feb.8,2009 after the meeting that we had in Port Coquitlam on the previous
Thursday:
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> ...I also wanted the meeting to be
changed because my back was bothering me again. I went to go to the
> bathroom at one point in the evening last Wednesday (the day before the meeting) and my
back stiffened
> up all of a sudden as soon as I leaned forward to go pee. That time my back was in so much
more pain
> than it ever had been before.
• Remember the miscommunication that we had last December and I didn’t want Larry
to come on the first day that he was suppose to hang out with us because I didn’t know that it
had been set up until my mom said something to me about it on the morning of the day it was
suppose to happen. I needed to have been told in advance that he was coming so that I would’ve
had time to process the information, but I also wouldn’t have wanted you to come on that day if
I could’ve had my way after I had three lousy sleeps in a row. I already had a hard enough time
at first trying to talk my mom out of Larry coming here after I didn’t find out until that
morning so I therefore didn’t want to then start a fight with her about rescheduling my visit
with you.
• My mom just couldn’t let it go that the first person didn’t work out. Of course she wasn’t
being flexible after I told her that I wanted to try a different worker because the first one
had a Volkswagen.
• Remember that I had planned for you and I to have a Chinese dinner on Saturday Mar.1,2008
but then I wasn’t feeling well and wanted to postpone it to two days later, but even though she
agreed to do so in the end my mom wasn’t flexible at first about changing it.
And in the most recent of instances...Nothing to do with whether or not my mom was flexible
about changing anything but she got me a stick of OMBRELLE brand “Face” sunscreen for me to try
because she thought that a stick might be easier for me to use instead of that “HAWAIIAN Tropic”
brand “baby faces” that I’ve been using. She got it for me one of the times when she was out
just within the last few weeks and I could’ve tried it last week on Thursday Apr.30,2009 which
was the day we took pictures at Crescent Park, but it was a good thing I decided to wait for a
certain day to try putting it on because I knew that she would pick something to have a fight
about when I put it on for the first time. I didn’t want us to have our fight on the day when I
had planned to go to Crescent Park with you and I also didn’t want to have it on last Tuesday
when I was suppose to go out with Larry, so I picked last Sunday (May the 3rd) to try on
the new face sunscreen before you came here.
The least that my mom could do after everything that’s happened (including the points that I
talk about above) would be to just do the right thing and tell Carol that I want her to start
seeing me again. I think that I deserve another chance with Carol after I almost faced the
possibility of moving out, after I almost had to ride in a Volkswagen, and after everything
that’s been happening just lately. And I told you many times before that
I don’t want to live the rest of my life knowing that my mom will get
away with it when she says “Carol’s not coming back” or my dad will get away with it when he
says quote “she’s gone.”
-Neil
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