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John,
I didn’t write to you yet details about the bad day that I had last Tuesday. My mom picked up
a Save-On-Foods brand chicken strip dinner for me when she was out shopping last Monday
(on the 2nd) and she told me that it would expire in just a few days. I then wasn’t sure whether
to have the chicken strips at supper the next day (on Tuesday) or a few days after that,
so I asked my mom what she thought. She said quote “we’re having it tomorrow,” so a few minutes
later I suggested to her that we could get some raspberries to have for dessert after supper.
Now the first thing that bugged me was after I suggested to my mom about getting the berries to
have for dessert, she then asked me if I’m having the chicken on the same night. She knew what
the answer was, but when I tried to get her to explain herself she said that she didn’t know we
made a final decision because I didn’t agree after she said “we’re having it tomorrow.” I don’t
know how she could not know that we haven’t made a final decision if she knows that I’m the one
who has trouble with decision making. And when I asked my mom why she was treating this
situation differently than any other time when I have trouble with decision making where she
always made the final decision for me, she said that this situation wasn’t different from any of
the other ones. I eventually decided to let it go and move on, but the next day (on
Tuesday) when I got up I reminded my mom what I wanted to have for supper that day. When I
reminded my mom that I wanted to have the chicken, she asked me if I meant the stuff that she
got on the day before or if I meant the rest of the Pinty’s brand chicken chips. I told you in
the E-mail I sent you on Sunday Jan.18,2009 that I had the first half of the Pinty’s chicken
chips for supper on the night before. Anyway, once again I think that my mom knew what the
answer was because it should’ve been obvious that I was talking about the Save-On-Foods brand
ones if she bought them on the day before and if she knew that I knew it was clear to me after
she told me on the day before that it would expire within the next few days. My mom would’ve had
to dig the Pinty’s ones out of the freezer if I wanted those ones by the way. I eventually let
it go again, but my mom continued to bug me for the rest of the day with “obvious little”
things. And I don’t know why I ate those Save-On-Foods brand chicken strips, but now I feel like
I’m a hypocrite after I ate them because my mom made a big deal out of it.
I remember you said at the meeting that you think I’m letting those little things bother me
because my mom and I are around each other too much and she doesn’t get enough of a break from
me. I never said no to the extra hours. And if my mom didn’t buy the chicken last Monday, I know
that none of the things that happened last Tuesday would’ve happened.
I had my dad record my show,
Privileged,
last Tuesday evening and I watched it with my mom a few days later because you know that I’d
rather wait and watch my shows when I’m happy. And I felt so upset that I wanted my appointment
two days later to be changed, but you know that my mom is never flexible when I want to change
something. I also wanted the meeting to be changed because my back was bothering me again. I
went to go to the bathroom at one point in the evening last Wednesday (the day before the
meeting) and my back stiffened up all of a sudden as soon as I leaned forward to go pee. That
time my back was in so much more pain than it ever had been before.
I remember last Thursday before we went into the meeting, you asked me if I slept okay on the
night before. My mom then said to you for some reason that I did sleep okay, but my back was
still sore when I woke up in the middle of the night so my mom had to go downstairs at 4AM and
put the heating pad in the microwave for me. I then placed it behind my back and laid on it for
the next hour. On the drive home later that same day (on Thursday), you asked me if I
could see the fish in the painting just before we went under Highway 99. I told you that I could
see the painting but I could not make out that the picture was of fish, I didn’t want to bend my
neck forward to have a better look at the picture because my back was still sore at the time. I
also didn’t want to turn my head to look backward when my mom pointed to me on our way to the
meeting a car that was behind us had wipers on its headlights. And my back was so sore that I
had my mom give me a Tylenol after you left that day.
When you said at the meeting about my mom and dad going away overnight being a “family
thing,” my mom assumes that what you meant was most families do things like that and we can’t
continue to keep everything the same. And you know that I would’ve felt comfortable about
letting them go away overnight if my relationship with Carol didn’t get messed up. I told you
before that I don’t want anyone who isn’t Carol to stay with me overnight.
My dad said at the meeting about I haven’t gone away anywhere for a long time with he and my
mom and that for the last few years he’s been taking off a few days “here and there.” You know
that I lost my confidence in going away overnight to hotels after not feeling well on two hotel
trips in a row, and both of those trips were to the exact same spot in Washington state.
And you said yourself about my dad would like to see me doing more activities like taking the
bus. I would especially not like to do bus trips now that my back could start acting up at any
time and the seats on a lot of the buses are not as comfortable.
I was thinking about taking my friend, Kris, with us to the China Kitchen in Langley in a few
weeks for my mom’s birthday dinner, but I’m not so sure now whether or not I should still have
anything to do with Kris or Mac seeing how Carol doesn’t want anything to do with me.
And also on our drive home last Thursday, you told me that you agreed to take people who you
used to work with to the pub after they said that they wanted to go out drinking at the bars.
That was something that Carol wouldn’t have ever wanted to do as a caretaker.
-Neil
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