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Well John, today is Father’s Day
and I got to give my dad his National Treasure 2 DVD this morning. And my mom gave him a shirt
this morning that she bought for him at the Bay when she was at Guildford Mall last
Saturday (on the 7th). She also got at the Bay when she was at Guildford that same day,
another pair of the pajamas that I like so I now have three pairs again after I had to throw
away a pair last month.
Speaking about that pair of pajamas that I had to throw away, it was almost a month
ago (on Sunday May 18,2008) when my mom had tried to fix the bottoms on that pair on which
the elastic was coming apart. She couldn’t fix that pair really good. I was about to then tell
my mom that “we could throw that pair away and that I have two spare pairs that I could ware
until we find a third pair” when she interrupted me and suggested that I wear one of my old
pairs of pajamas because she knows that I have lots of older pairs in my closet. I asked her why
she even suggested that if she knew that;
1) those older pairs were waiting to be thrown out and
2) she already knew that I had two good spare pairs.
She then said because she forgot that I had two spare pairs, and because she’s had so much on
her mind lately that it’s hard for her to remember that I have two spare pairs. I myself don’t
see how hard it is to remember that I have two spare pairs while having a lot on your mind,
especially if I talked to her lots of times over the last while leading up to the
date (the 18th of last month) about my two spare pairs and about buying a third spare pair.
I then learned a few minutes later that what she meant was if it was only the top that I wanted
to throw away in one of those old pairs, we could just get rid of the top and then combine the
bottoms from that pair with the top that I wore regularly at that time to make a new pair. As
soon as I learned this, I then asked my mom why she didn’t say that about “combining the top and
bottom to make a new pair” the first time when I asked her instead of saying stuff about “not
remembering that I have two good pairs” and about “having a lot on her mind.” She then said that
it all had to do with the same thing and I couldn’t get her to explain to me why she thought
that they all meant the same thing, all she would say was that they both have to do with the
same subject and I couldn’t get her to tell me anymore than that. The subject being about
“pajamas.” If “combining the top and bottom to make a new pair” (which is just one area of the
subject) was what she meant when she suggested “that I wear one of my old pairs,” I don’t see
why she had to also talk about a different area in the same subject that wasn’t necessary and I
don’t see what it had to do with what I was talking about. I think that she was just
trying to trigger me to hit her even though I know that it’s not acceptable, she knows
that I could more easily be triggered on the next day after nights when I’ve only had a couple
hours of sleep. Infact, I think that she also tries to trigger me after nights when she knows
that I did sleep good like for example just last Monday (the 9th)...Just before the big
storm, my mom saw the weather on the five o’clock news on which they said that the next
day (Tuesday) was still suppose to be a lousy day. A half hour later during the time when we
were experiencing the bad weather, my mom said that after all of this unpredicted bad weather
maybe tomorrrow (referring to “Tuesday the 10th”) will be a nice day seeing how those
weather guys seem to always be wrong lately. And then we saw the sun actually trying to come out
just a few minutes later so I then said to my mom quote “you could be right about the
possibility that we could have a nice day tomorrow” seeing how they also hadn’t predicted that
bit of sun that I just told you we saw near the end of the storm, she responded to me by saying
that they’re still predicting tomorrow (Tuesday the 10th) to be a lousy day even after
she herself had said out loud just a few minutes before that those weather guys seem to
always be wrong lately. I then asked her how she knew that the next day was suppose to still be
a lousy day if she hadn’t saw the weather again since before the big storm and before she said
that they could be wrong and that we could have a nice day “tomorrow.” I learned a few minutes
later and after we had a little bit of an argument that she was referring to the weather
forecast on the five o’clock news when she said that the next day “was suppose to still be a
lousy day” after I had told her that she could’ve been right when she said a few minutes before
about those weather guys being wrong. Why would she even say that the next day was still suppose
to be a lousy day if she hadn’t saw the weather again since she had said about the possibility
of the next day being a nice one and if it was after she had saw the weather on the five
o’clock news when she had said that. And I don’t see how it could be true that she didn’t
remember that I had two good pairs of pajamas or that she had a lot on her mind if the reason
why she suggested that I wear one of my older pairs was about combining the top from that pair
with the bottoms on an older pair to make a new pair. Speaking about the pajamas, remember that
I didn’t sleep good the last two nights before that day (before the 18th) and also
remember that you and I were suppose to have a Chinese dinner the next day on the holiday Monday
so that my mom could’ve went out for dinner with my dad and his relatives after the casino. I
was okay with going ahead with the Chinese dinner after having those two nights when I didn’t
sleep good just so you know, but I felt upset after the way my mom had treated me that day and
therefore didn’t feel like following our plans. And by the way, I slept good every night this
last week, I slept good the last seven nights.
Also my mom, my dad, and myself were having a conversation just two evenings ago (on
Friday evening) when my dad said that he was suppose to respond to that invitation sometime
before today, the one that he got for my cousin Jeff’s engagement party, to let them know
whether or not he’d be going when I asked him if he knew yet whether or not he was going. He
answered me by saying, quote “I don’t know, I’ll have to talk to mom first.” I then asked him
what he needs to talk to my mom for and he just responded by saying “I don’t know” again. I then
asked my mom what he meant and she didn’t answer me but instead my dad answered what I asked
my mom by saying once again “I don’t know.” This is just like in the message that I sent
you on Saturday Mar.2,2008 where I said:
> ...my dad just finished vacuuming while I’m here in the computer room and as soon as I
heard him turn off
> the vacuum I opened the door and asked him if he was done. He said “yep” and then a few
minutes after
> that he said quote “I’m all done” so I then asked him why he said it twice. He said quote
“because that’s
> just the way I talk.” He then said after that the first time he just said “yep” was just to
answer my question
> that I asked him “are you done” and then the second time he said “I’m all done” because he was
all done
> with the vacuum for today. This sounded like a clear enough answer to me, but after I got the
answer I had
> wanted he wouldn’t stop and just kept going on about saying things
like “this is the way he talks”
> etc. I don’t know anybody else who talks in that same way or who goes on about the way that
they talk, all
> the more reason now for me to feel like I want to continue punishing him...
Pay close attention particularly to the bold red portion in the above excerpt where I say
that my dad wouldn’t stop saying, quote “that’s the way I talk.” When I asked him two nights ago
why he wouldn’t stop saying “I don’t know” if I understood him the first time when he said it,
my mom then told him that she knew she herself isn’t going to the engagement party and then he
said that he didn’t know that she isn’t going though I’ll let you know that during those last
few minutes when he kept saying “I don’t know” he sounded like he was going to lash out at any
time and treat me violently. And I’ll tell you that I did manage to stop myself from hitting my
mom once again this time two evenings ago but one of these times I don’t know if I’d be able to
control myself. Now you know why I felt safe a few months ago when I was avoiding my dad and
while I was confining myself to the couch.
And I know for one thing that Carol is a good person for me to live with seeing as how I feel
confident that she is someone who I would never hit, and I remember you responded to me the
first time I said this by saying that you yourself believe in it. And after I wrote about this
many times in previous messages, you know by now that she herself is nonviolent.
After my mom proofread the message that I sent you yesterday,
she told me about an update that she saw on yesterday’s news to one of the stories that I told
you about in that same message. About that guy who went missing in White Rock, they thought
there might’ve been some sightings of him with his friends.
Earlier this afternoon, I saw the HandyDART pull up in front of Muriel’s place next door. My
dad saw it too and we could hear the beeping that it makes when he backs up. My dad told me that
he sees him doing that every time and backs up our street all the way from 142nd Street instead
of coming around the other way to Muriel’s driveway.
About a half hour after we saw the HandyDART, my dad walked over to the corner store to cash
in our scratches that we did last night and while he was gone Angie’s husband, Andy, came by on
his motorcycle to drop off a bunch of Thank You cards for my dad to give to everybody. I told
you that I won $4 on my scratch last night, so my dad got for me with my winnings; a BLACKJACK,
a GOLDRUSH, and $2 cash. If you been reading the previous E-mails, you’ll know that my total
cash amount that I’ve made on scratches is now up to $11. My dad also saw when he was at the
corner store this afternoon that the 649 is now up to $25 million after nobody won the big $20
million last night.
And also this afternoon, Kris’s grandpa, Don
Dabay, sent some pictures to my dad that he took last Sunday
(on the 8th) at Kris’s open house. It is now 5PM and I’ll forward the pictures to you within the
next few minutes from my dad’s E-mail address which is
rsmcrae@telus.net, please let me know if you get
them. And there is one picture in there that he took of my mom and
dad, I’ll warn you about the fact that my mom says she doesn’t take good pictures and doesn’t
want anybody to see them if they didn’t turn out.
-Neil
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