To:

bubzulu@shaw.ca

From:

My ISP address

Subject:

More about cat jokes

Date Sent:

Tuesday Aug.26,2008

Message:

John,

Here are all of the websites we went to yesterday in the same order which we visited them:

Cat Jokes
Pet Humor
Cat Jokes - Funny Clean Jokes about Cats
Cat Jokes at Jokes.Net
Funny Cat Jokes

And I included just some of the jokes at the bottom of this message, notice the answer to the very last one I included is “Miami Mice.” This title is also the name of a segment on Sesame Street, maybe we could watch the Sesame Street Miami Mice segments on YouTube when you’re here on Thursday.

In the ZIP file at the following URL, you can get the screenshot that you saw me capture yesterday, the tower inside the green circle is the one in which my grandparents live:
http://www.stuntsillusion.com/download/tempfile6.zip
Also in the above ZIP file, that story about the “The Cat Pill.” Remember I told you that someone sent me the same story a long time ago! I remember you said yesterday that we should write our own story and then submit it to basicjokes.com . I noticed yesterday when we were on the other website, Jokes.Net, you can freely submit jokes to automatically be posted to that website.

And I remember you said that you didn’t know how to get to that picture on the Stunts Illusion website after clicking the link. You’re at the top of the update for April 12th 2003 immediately after clicking the link in my previous E-mail, scroll down to the bottom of that same update and then click on the link that says “second picture.” Or go directly to that picture by clicking right here.

If I find a cassette after looking through all of my cassettes either I could then give the cassette to you to transfer it’s audio to PC, (not to CD, to PC) or I could search and see if I could find the song online.

I remember you told me when you were here yesterday that they’re starting a new bus route on 33rd Avenue near where your mom lives in Vancouver, there are also bus improvements coming to South Surrey/White Rock. Also included in the above ZIP file is a diagram that was on the back of the Peace Arch local newspaper. The 375 route which is the route between White Rock and Guildford will now operate every 30 minutes during the day on weekday (Monday to Friday) schedules instead of every 60. In addition, route 345 will also operate on 152nd Street every 30 minutes during the day on weekdays. The 345 follows 152nd North of here and terminates at Fraser Highway, so if we wanted to take the bus all the way to Guildford we’d have to wait for the 375. Or if we wanted to take the bus to Langley, we could catch whichever of the two routes comes first and then take it to 152nd Street at Fraser Highway at which we would then transfer to the Fraser Highway bus to continue to Langley.

My dad phoned us again last night. He told us that they were going to spend last night in Vernon at the Village Green Hotel which has a casino and indoor pool, Kiernan’s already been in the pool. After they left the cabin yesterday, they stopped and had lunch at a SUBWAY location in Barriere which is just North of Kamloops. And then once they were in Kamloops, my dad checked on his job site and they stopped and saw Kiernan’s grandparents who live in Kamloops. His grandpa, who is a baker, gave them two big cinnamon buns which they had for a snack when they got to the hotel. Today they’re driving home through Penticton where they’ll stop and pick up some pears from my great aunt and uncle (my grandpa’s brother and his wife) who live there, so they’ll be making a stop in Abbotsford on their way home to give my grandparents their share of the pears. My dad will then drive Kiernan into Vancouver and drop him off at his dad’s house before coming home himself. My dad also said yesterday when he talked to us on the phone that he took lots of videos with my Sony camera, either I could include them on the CD I’m making for you or you and I could watch them together when you’re here on Thursday.

After Cam’s fish store tomorrow, I plan to have lunch with my dad at the SUBWAY just up the street from him. It’s right next to the Denny's downtown on Burrard Street.

See you on Thursday at 1PM.

-Neil

P.S. Here are the jokes that I said above I included:

Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

Q: Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
A: He set a new lap record.

Q: Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
A: She had mittens.

Q: What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat?
A: A peeping tom.

Q: Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs.

Q: What is a cat's favourite song?
A:Three Blind Mice.

Q: What is a cat's way of keeping law & order?
A: Claw Enforcement.

Q: How did a cat take first prize at the bird show?
A: He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.

Q: Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
A: For kitty littering.

Q: Why did the litter of communist kittens become capitalists?
A: Because they finally opened their eyes.

Q: Why are cats better than babies?
A: Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.

Q: What happened when the cat went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the whole show!

Q: What is a cat's favourite colour?
A: Purrrrrrrple!

Q: Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?
A: The retail store.

Q: What does a cat like to eat on a hot day?
A: A mice cream cone.

Q: What do cats use to make coffee?
A: A purrcolator.

Q: What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck?
A: A duck filled fatty puss.

Q: If there are ten cats on a boat and one jumps off, how many cats are left on the boat?
A: None! They were copy cats.

Q: Is it bad luck if a black cat follows you?
A: That depends on whether you're a man or a mouse.

Q: What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?
A: An eskimew.

Q: What has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog because it croaks every night.

Q: What is a cat's favourite subject in school?
A: HISStory.

Q: What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies.

Q: Why do cats hate flying saucers?
A: Because they can't reach the milk.

Q: Why did the judge dismiss the entire jury made up of cats?
A: Because each of them was guilty of purrjury.

Q: What's happening when you hear "woof... splat... meow... splat?"
A: It's raining cats and dogs.

Q: Why did the cat put oil on the mouse?
A: Because it squeaked.

Q: Why are black cats such good singers?
A: They're very mewsical.

Q: What is a black cat's favourite TV show ?
A: Miami Mice !

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