To:

bubzulu@shaw.ca

From:

My ISP address

Subject:

My thoughts for the first weekend of summer

Date Sent:

Sunday June 22,2008

Message:

John,

I know you said to me not to be in a hurry to write you my thoughts after our “extremely heavy” discussion and to take some more time to think about things though I feel that I should write about some things now while they’re still fresh in my mind. Remember Dr. McKibbin said before that it’s a good idea to write down my thoughts while they’re fresh or otherwise my mind will go blank the longer I keep waiting. Maybe I should’ve had my laptop there when you and I had our discussion or I could’ve just penciled my notes onto a scrap piece of paper just like you had a pen and were writing down points on the sides of the printout that you had, this way I would’ve remembered everything we talked about for when it comes time for me to E-mail you. I might send you more thoughts later on when they come to me. Anyway first off, I didn’t mean that she had “interrupted” my thoughts. I guess I just used the wrong word again like when I said that I’m a “hypocrite” to still be talking to and seeing my friends while I’m no longer seeing Carol. Again, I said in the message that I sent you last Saturday (on the 14th) that maybe you know some terms that would be more appropriate for me to use when I describe these things instead of using terms such as; hypocrite, interrupting, etc. I remember you told me last Thursday that I shouldn’t hold people accountable for interrupting my thoughts though that thing about the pajamas wasn’t the first time something like this has happened and this seems to happen to me a lot when I’m about to say something like for example I was about to say to my mom that we could throw away the one pair of pajamas because I knew that I had two good spare pairs just when she suggested that I wear one of my old pairs. And before we move away from the pajamas stuff, I also remember last Thursday you asked me why I didn’t throw away those older pairs of pajamas that were waiting to be thrown away. We meant to sort through them but we didn’t get around to doing so, and we did throw away a few of those pairs after the argument. And I hope you won’t take this the wrong way and think that this thing about the pajamas is still bothering me if I show these two excerpts in which I said the same thing twice:

Sunday June 15,2008:
> ...The subject being about “pajamas.” If “combining the top and bottom to make a new pair” (which is just
> one area of the subject) was what she meant when she suggested “that I wear one of my old pairs,” I
> don’t see why she had to also talk about a different area in the same subject that wasn’t necessary and I
> don’t see what it had to do with what I was talking about...

And then further down in the same message where the above excerpt came from:

> ...And I don’t see how it could be true that she didn’t remember that I had two good pairs of pajamas or that
> she had a lot on her mind if the reason why she suggested that I wear one of my older pairs was about
> combining the top from that pair with the bottoms on an older pair to make a new pair...

The reason why I show both of those excerpts...The first one came before I talked about what my mom said about the weather when we had the storm, and then the second one came after I talked about the weather stuff and when I started to talk about the pajamas again. If I didn’t write in that message what’s shown in the second excerpt and I instead immediately after talking about the weather stuff just jump in and say quote “speaking about the pajamas” and then I talk about the two nights before when I didn’t sleep good and about the Chinese dinner that we were suppose to have the next day, then you might’ve wondered why after I finished talking about the storm stuff I would then say nothing other than “speaking about the pajamas” before moving onto the stuff about the Chinese dinner. Or I don’t know, maybe the second excerpt should’ve came right after the first one and before I talk about the weather stuff. Now, you thought at first that I’m wasting energy when I write my messages to you where I go on about the same thing like for example when I went on about the pajamas until you realized that I had added a bit more information when I said that same thing the second time.

And here are a few other things that I would like to point out after our discussion:

• I know that my mom is not a weatherman, I already knew that she herself could’ve been wrong right from the point when she said quote “maybe tomorrow will be a nice day seeing how those weather guys seem to always be wrong lately.” I also knew from the beginning that those weather guys aren’t always wrong.

• Until my dad said that he was suppose to respond to that invitation, the three of us were “having a conversation” which I know is a normal thing that lots of people do and then after he said that about responding to the invitation I just thought that I would keep the conversation going which I assume is also a normal thing that people do when they have a conversation. I tried to keep the conversation going by being social and asking him whether or not he was going to the engagement party after he brought it up about the “engagement party” by saying that he still needed to respond to the invitation, I didn’t know myself at that time whether or not he made up his mind if he was going. And if it was okay for my mom to have gone say if Carol was still my worker and would’ve been able to stay with me, I would’ve been okay myself if the day came of the engagement party and then earlier that day my mom decided that she wasn’t feeling well and changed her mind about going. It isn’t my concern whether or not my mom feels up to going to some party that I myself know I wouldn’t be going to and therefore I wouldn’t have got upset if she changed her mind and didn’t want to go, I would’ve been okay with that.

• Now if you thought that the reason why my dad kept saying “I don’t know” might’ve been so that I wouldn’t be triggered, I don’t see why he would’ve thought that I might get mad at that time if I told you that the three of us were having a nice conversation up til then.

Maybe this “interrogating people when they say things in a way I don’t understand“ is another habit that Ihave to break just like one habit I have that was talked about at our very first meeting with FVMH back in February and that I agreed I also need to try and break which I tell my mom every time Chloe does something like when Chloe leaves the couch for example I say to my mom, quote “Chloe left the couch.” I also said this to my mom last Thursday after you left and she then said, quote “we all have habits that we should break.” And that I understand is normal and I can agree with this, everyone has habits that they need to break.

I remember you said when you were here last Thursday about how I don’t know a lot of people and that I’m in the minority while the majority wouldn’t talk any differently than the way my mom talks and even you yourself are in that majority. At least I hope that Carol is one of the few people in the minority. And Carol driving up in her car and then her and me driving off into the sunset was not the way that I predicted I’d live with her. One thing to keep in mind is what I said two messages ago about the fact that I think Carol would be a good candidate for me to live with seeing how I feel confident that she is someone who I would never hit. And I didn’t plan to keep writing to her until I’m 90. I also hope that Carol doesn’t get sick as much as my mom who was really feeling awful two afternoons ago (on Friday afternoon), and you know it seems lately I write to you that my mom feels sick almost as often lately as every week. Because my mom didn’t think that she would feel up to running out and looking for a gift for my cousin, Jeff, and because she knew that I wanted to go with my dad the next morning and trade my fish in, she thought that the best we could’ve done was to give them a nice $50 bill (one of the newer $50 bills) though luckily she did feel a bit better after she laid down on the couch for a few hours that afternoon and managed to fall asleep when doing so. She decided to run over to the Semiahmoo Mall after supper that same day and managed to find a card, some tea towels, and some cookbooks all for them.

At least you’re getting a better idea though about where I’d like to live and what kind of place I want to live in. When we went for our walk last Thursday, remember we saw a house for sale on the North side of 18th Avenue not long after we turned onto 18th off of 137A Street. I noticed that the garage on this house is still attached to the house though is not underneath any of the second floor, I told you in the previous E-mail (the one I sent you last Wednesday) why I wouldn’t want to sleep right on top of a garage. I’d also benefit living in this type of house seeing how another reason why I moved into the other bedroom five years after we moved into this house is because the time when I changed bedrooms was around the same time when we got a second vehicle after having only one car for many years, my dad therefore had to install an electric opener on the side of our garage that’s right underneath the first room I was in and this opener that he installed is louder than the one on my mom’s side of the garage. I would’ve been waken up every morning when my dad leaves for work if I had stayed in that room, I can sleep through him leaving some mornings now that I’m in the room in which I’m not as close to the garage door opener. Maybe if I take my mom over that way sometime to show her the fountain and I take a picture of the fountain using the camera on her cell phone, I could also take her by the house that we saw for sale on 18th and get a picture of it. Now next to this house on 18th that we saw was for sale, remember we saw an even bigger one next door to it that’s front yard was fixed up really nice (this might’ve been the one that you said it’s driveway was nicely landscaped) though “this house was not for sale.” I told you in one of the previous messages why I’m not sure about the idea of gables and I can’t remember whether or not this fancy house that we saw on 18th has gables but even if it doesn’t, I wouldn’t want to live there anyway seeing how it’s on a busier Street. I also wouldn’t want to live in either that Cape Cod house that we saw on the corner of 138th Street and 17th Avenue or that mustard colour one around the corner from it because both of those houses are close to Ray Shepherd elementary school. If you don’t remember which of those intersections is 138th and 17th, then you could look at those maps that I made and then sent you a few messages ago. Anyway, I don’t know if those houses are closer to Ray Shepherd than mine is to Bayridge Elementary, I can hear the school bell when it rings during the school year. And remember I said about how it seems that nobody who lives in that neighbourhood (that one on the other side of 140th Street in which all those big houses are) and who have hedges which their tops hang over the sidewalk keep their hedges cut back, and then I said that if one of those houses was my house I would do the right thing and make sure my hedge gets cut back away from the sidewalk. I guess I could hire someone to cut back the hedges for me.

About the engagement party itself now, my dad left our house at around 3PM yesterday afternoon. First he stopped in at my grandparents’ (his parents’) place in Abbotsford where he had a visit with them before it was time to leave for the dinner. My grandparents rode with my dad to the dinner which was in the banquet room at the Ramada Plaza Hotel in Abbotsford, right next door to the Castle Fun Park if you ever heard about that place. My dad and my grandparents were the first people there, they were there before my cousin Jeff or his parents, my auntie Karen and uncle Robert, got there. Karen’s grandson, Ben, was the only kid who was there and my dad learned at the dinner that Ben is “smart and articulate.” One day last week when my auntie Karen had Ben for the day, they were out in the car when Karen drove through a yellow light and Ben said out loud quote “Grandma, that’s a caution, you’re suppose to stop.” Could you believe that a three year old could say that exact phrase? And my dad saw at the dinner that Jen, the girl who Jeff’s engaged to, has a tattoo of a scorpion on her shoulder. My dad thinks this would probably be from her younger days.

I remember you said about you’re not going to tell Scott that your contract with him is just about up, you know that I’m not like him so I therefore myself would be okay if you let me know ahead of the time when your contract with me will end. Remember I said that what I would’ve had with Carol if she didn’t stop working with me was like an unlimited or a permanent contract, she kept telling me that she would always have me and Jennifer, that girl who I told you that Carol also does respite for, after she (Carol) retires.

Here are a few excerpts that you weren’t clear about:

> When my mom walked over to get the mail yesterday afternoon, she saw that there isn’t a license
> plate on Logan’s car, so maybe he isn’t driving again right now...

> ...my dad phoned my auntie Karen two nights ago (on Monday evening) because he didn’t know whether or
> not he’s suppose to bring a present to Jeff’s party. When he told her that I plan to go with him earlier that
> same day (on Saturday morning) and trade in my betas for a store credit, she told him to save two of my
> male betas for her so I said to my dad a few minutes later once he got off the phone that he could save
> two and then take them out to her one day. I also plan to save two of the good looking females for myself
> seeing how the mom died a few weeks ago, this way I’ll be able to breed again.

And I made it out with my dad yesterday morning, our first stop was Fish World at 64th and Scott where we traded approximately 25 of my betas. My credit at that store is now up to a total of $43 including credit that I still have leftover from previous times when I traded my fish there. We kept four of my male betas and two of my females, two males for my auntie Karen who you just read in one of the above excerpts that she wanted a couple and the other four for myself seeing how the father’s getting old and the mother had already died. In addition to keeping those ones, we also kept the six female betas that we had left in the jars because they’re not big enough to trade in yet and we kept one runty one that we had in one of the barracks. My dad moved those six females from the jars into the ten gallon fish tank (the one on top of the five gallon) yesterday after we got home. I didn’t buy anything at Fish World, they didn’t have too many fish in their tanks so we assumed that they must be due for a shipment. We then went for lunch at the McDonald's location at 70th Avenue and Scott Road, right outside Scottsdale Mall. I had my usual ten piece McNuggets with medium fries and a medium Sprite, my dad had a Chicken Classic burger which came on a square bun and he had a coffee to drink. That was a nice McDonald's location for me to go to seeing how it had a lot of dark tables and I also like that one compared to the one at King George and 64th Avenue or the one on 72nd Avenue at King George because you have to be buzzed into the washroom at both of those locations. After lunch, we walked across to the Scottsdale Mall but I didn’t buy anything at the pet store there either. Something neat that we saw right outside the pet store (the one in Scottsdale Mall) is what looked like a baby buggy in which instead of putting a baby, you’d put either a dog or a cat in it. My dad thought those would mostly be used just when someone would take their pet somewhere where there are a lot of people. After the mall, we drove across to the Tim Hortons location on 72nd Avenue, right in front of Strawberry Hill where my dad bought two donuts for me; a Vanilla Dip with chocolate sprinkles and a Maple Dip. Even though the coloured sprinkles are my preference, it’s not too often I find a chocolate sprinkle at Tim Hortons so I thought that I’d better get one while I saw it. I had the chocolate sprinkle for my afternoon snack yesterday after I got home and my mom went out to Safeway this afternoon and got me a seafood salad to have for my supper tonight, I will have the Maple donut for dessert after I have my salad. After Tim Hortons and before coming home, we drove up to the “Roger’s Aquatic and Pet Supplies” on Scott Road near 82nd Avenue where we saw a new kind of beta cage in which the beta can swim around in circles. If we had my mom’s cell phone with us, I could’ve taken a picture of that beta cage to send to you.

My mom was showing me the Safeway flyer a few days ago in which we saw that they’re suppose to have Canada Day donuts and a big rectangular Canada Day Cake. It didn’t say what kind of cake it was or how many different kinds it’s available in it comes in more than one kind. Remember back at Christmas Safeway had the Chocolate Dip donuts and long johns that had red and green sprinkles, these Canada Day ones that we saw advertised in Safeway’s flyer are the same as those Chocolate Dip donuts with pink sprinkles that you saw me have from Safeway a few times except the Canada Day ones have red and white sprinkles instead of pink ones. It also showed in the flyer that you could either get a pack of six of the standard round Canada Day donuts with holes in their centers or a pack of six Canada Day long johns. When my mom went to the Peninsula Village Safeway this afternoon to get my salad, she took a look in the dessert section and saw that they didn’t have any of the Canada Day stuff out yet that we saw advertised. I also said to my mom that if we do find those donuts sometime I wonder if they might come in packs with say three round ones and three long johns. And then my mom said, “probably not” and that we’d probably have no choice but to get them either just one way or the other. If it comes to that, I’d prefer a pack with just six of the round ones. A few days after we saw the Safeway flyer, the Save-On flyer came in which they advertised packs of six Canada Day cupcakes. I think my mom’s homemade cupcakes are a bit better than the grocery store bought ones, you might know what I mean, though I don’t remember how long it’s been since the last time I had Save-On cupcakes and the only store bought cupcakes that I’ve had within the last few years are Safeway ones. I don’t know whether or not these Save-On Canada Day cupcakes would be any better than Safeway’s cupcakes.

Metrotown was the first stop for my parents after they left the house when you were with me last Thursday. You should obviously know that they didn’t find a gift for Jeff that day after reading earlier on in this message that my mom had to run out the next evening and buy a few things for them, and all of the T-shirts in the Sears at Metrotown have tags sewn in the side (or in the bottom). After they left Metrotown, they stopped at that shopping center at Marine Way and Byrne Road where there’s a London Drugs and a Mark's Work Wearhouse. They looked in Mark's and saw that their T-shirts have writing in the back of their necks and no tags anywhere inside. They had three different shades of blue to choose from. And then after Mark's they picked up a few things I needed from London Drugs. On their way home from Burnaby, they stopped at a little produce place that recently opened at 32nd Avenue and 140th Street called “Elgin Market” where they picked me up some raspberries which I had with brown sugar for my dessert after supper that day. And then for my evening snack that same day, I had some more of those Mint Crisp M&Ms that I told you we got that time a few weeks ago when I was with my mom at the Save-On in Scottsdale Mall. After the first time when I had these for a snack, I thought that I was only having half and that there would be enough left in the bag for only one snack until I went to have these for the second time last Thursday evening when we realized that there’s still enough left in there for one more snack for me after what I had on Thursday.

Yesterday morning not long after my dad got up, he saw a squirrel in the birdfeeder eating birdseed and he saw Izzy laying on the ground underneath the birdfeeder. And the morning on the day before (on Friday morning) before my dad left for work, he saw a hawk flying around our backyard. The crows were bugging it and bombing it, and my dad tried to take a picture of the hawk but he wasn’t quick enough. My dad told me that one thing about his “Canon PowerShot SxIS” is that it’s good for taking bird pictures because it’s got a good zoom can zoom up close. Speaking about pictures, my dad and I were up last Wednesday evening (on the 18th) looking at some of my grandparents’ pictures that we had sitting in a box in our family room. My grandma (my dad’s mom) said that we could take whichever of those pictures from that box that we wanted to keep and she told us to then pass the rest on to my uncle Gordon, my dad’s brother. And I myself saw some interesting ones in there, both ones from way back and ones that were taken more recently, that I suggested to my dad I could scan and then send to you. He responded and said that I could just show you what’s in the box one day when you’re here though I’d probably end up scanning whichever ones we end up keeping anyway to ensure that we have spare copies.

I told my mom last Thursday right after you left about the green cat spring that’s been hidden in the letter holder on our kitchen wall for the last three weeks. About a half an hour after you left that day, my dad opened the kitchen cupboard to put away the stuff that they got for me from London Drugs earlier that day when he found the orange furry cat toy on one side of the cupboard door and a red thing on the other side. And then a half hour after that when my mom was setting up my TV table for me in the living room, she opened the other kitchen cupboard (the one in which we keep our dishes) when a blue ball fell down. Isn’t that one getting to be an old trick, John, that wasn’t the first time you hid either a ball or something else in that same spot (on top of that same cupboard door). Anyway, a few minutes after my mom finished setting up my table when I went to close the door between our dining room and the kitchen, I couldn’t get it to slide all the way shut so I then looked up and saw your red spring. You knew that I would be closing that door not long after you left, you must’ve planned for me to find this one right away. Now when I showed my mom your red spring inside the sliding door, she said quote “oh my goodness, what are we gunna do with that guy.” And two nights ago (on Friday evening) when my dad went to get the aquarium towel off the TV tables, two balls and a mouse fell down.

Also not long after you left last Thursday, my mom went to get something out of the fridge when the thing that holds the shelf on the door broke. We can’t get a replacement part for it because it’s an old fridge so my dad’s using duct tape to hold it together for now, and even though my mom keeps saying that the duct tape seems to be holding it together really good I myself think that we’re due for a new fridge seeing how we bought that fridge back in 1992 when I was only ten years old.

See you tomorrow at 1PM.

-Neil

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