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The incredibly long message

Date Sent:

Tuesday Feb.5,2008

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ē Azure blue text indicates any changes that were made after this message was sent (spelling, grammar, phrasing of sentences, etc).



Too bad about you being stuck with a cold for three days. This will probably be an extremely long message, lots to catch up on.

My momís first stop yesterday afternoon after she left the house was the Save-On-Foods store at South Point. She had planned to first do her grocery shopping there and then browse around Winners, but it started to snow like crazy once she finished at Save-On so she decided just to leave South Point and do her stuff and London Drugs. After London Drugs, she drove to the Semiahmoo Mall and browsed around there for a little bit and then she walked across the street to pick up a few things at Shoppers Drug Mart. There was no snow and it was just raining when my mom got back to the car after walking across to Shoppers so she decided to drive back to South Point and browse around Winners before coming home. My mom saw an ambulance parked outside the Save-On the first time she left South Point. When she first went inside Save-On, she saw a big guy who looked to be around my age. He must have slipped after my mom saw him when she first went in, she heard someone come on the loudspeaker and call for first aid a few minutes after she first saw him and then later as she was leaving she saw him sitting on the bench at the front of the store and the paramedics were there with their stretcher. She heard about a bad car accident on the radio in that area (in South Surrey) just after she left South Point and then later while she was walking across the street back to her car from Shoppers, she saw a car run a red light. Guess itís a good thing that guy didnít get hit when he ran the light. My mom saw big cookies when she was in Save-On. They didnít have Smartie ones though, she saw Chocolate Chunk and this chocolate one that had bits of white in it. Sheís not sure whether or not the bits of white are nuts, you know I donít like cookies that have nuts in them. Maybe Iíll try bringing home a Chocolate Chunk one for my snack if we decide to go on Thursday.

Thatís now a record of I believe six times in a row for there not being a paper on our front porch as soon as you open the door to leave. Itís also a funny thing that yesterday was the second time in a row that Scott phones you while youíre at my place, last Thursday was the very first time he phoned while you were with me. Heís never phoned you anytime you were with me before Thursday.

When you saw me two weeks ago on Monday Jan.21,2008 (the day I had my onion rings at Dairy Queen), you said that you already knew I probably wouldnít like gravy and that you thought I donít like soup. It is true that Iím not a big soup-eater though I have the MR. NOODLES brand noodle cups for my lunch some days. Sometimes my mom buys the big cases from Costco and you can also buy these individually at the grocery store. I only like the chicken flavour, I donít like beef so therefore you know I wouldnít like the beef flavour. And whenever I have one of these noodle cups or any kind of soup, I donít eat the liquid. Again, Iím not a big soup-eater. If Iím having Chicken Noodle soup or Alphabet soup for example, I stop eating as soon as the chickenís gone in the Chicken Noodle soup or as soon as all the letters are gone in the Alphabet soup and again I donít eat or drink the liquid. And speaking about gravy, I also donít like gravy when I have potatoes. I only like butter with potatoes, mom butters my potatoes for me before I eat them.

You asked me when you were with me yesterday what I like for breakfast. I donít like eggs, pancakes, or toast. My mom told me yesterday after you left that deviled eggs are made from hard-boiled eggs and the eggs that are used in potato salad that I like are also hard-boiled eggs, I just donít like hard-boiled eggs by themselves. I also donít like poached eggs, scrambled eggs, or Eggs Benedict. Whenever I go out for breakfast to places such as White Spot, Denny's, Ricky's, etc, I usually just get a side of bacon with a side of hash browns. You should know that I only like my hash browns either diced or shredded, I donít like the pan-fried ones. Though IHopís hash browns are diced, I donít like them as much as the diced/shredded ones that are at some of the other places I mentioned. My mom makes me homemade diced hash browns for my supper some nights, I think they are the Save-On brand (WESTERN FAMILY) ones. I had some of those for my supper last Friday night (February 1st) with Shake 'n Bake chicken as well as some Save-On coleslaw that was leftover from the night I had fish and chips. My mom has to take me seriously though the next time I have leftover Save-On coleslaw and put my coleslaw in a separate little dish or container. And I did have the last cupcake for my dessert after supper that same night (Friday night), now the cupcakes are finally gone. My mom got me my Save-On potato salad when she was there yesterday and I had it for supper last night with Shake 'n Bake chicken leftover from Friday night, I prefer Shake 'n Bake chicken when itís leftover though. I think it tastes better when itís leftover.

I tried some of the Doritos for my snack last night that my mom got, for my snack the night before (Sunday evening) I had some of my General Mills Cheerios Snack mix (HONEY NUT CRUNCH flavour) that I like, and for my snack on Saturday evening (evening of February 2nd) I had some almond butter spread on Carrís crackers. Carrís is the brand name for these tins and boxes of assorted crackers that I like. We still have a big tin of Carrís leftover from Christmas and you can also buy them year round in smaller cardboard boxes.

My mom looked out the window when she first got up yesterday morning and saw that it was snowing a bit, the snow was gone though when I got up and then you know it snowed here again before you came. My dad phoned my aunt (his sister) who lives out in Mission last Thursday (January 31st) after you left and she had four inches of snow at that time still leftover from last weekís snowfall. And my dad drove out to the Valley on Saturday morning (February 2nd) to visit my grandparents (his parents) and it was snowing here when he left the house. The ground was only a bit white when my mom got up later that same morning (Saturday) and then the snow was all gone when I got up. My grandma sent us back a box of ďSEASHELL TREASURESĒ chocolates made by ďDolce Díor,Ē I donít prefer truffles though because I find that they are too rich. Thatís a good thing that I donít prefer truffles because you know I got a bunch of other stuff leftover from Christmas still to be eaten, maybe my grandma had a bunch of stuff leftover from Christmas too (including this box of truffles) and maybe she was trying to get rid of some of it by giving some of it away. Also when my dad went out that same day, he brought me back another new scratch to try - ďDOLLAR SIGNSĒ which is a $2 scratch. On the first game (the one where I have to match one of my two numbers), I matched one of my two numbers (the number 14) and won $2. If I had matched the number 12 on that ticket, I would have won $25,000 . The next day (Sunday), my dad got me another ďDOLLAR SIGNSĒ scratch-and-win ticket with my winnings from the day before and I won $2 again. Later that same day on the next ďDOLLAR SIGNSĒ that my dad got for me using my winnings from the second ďDOLLAR SIGNSĒ scratch, I didnít win anything but I matched two $25,000s on the second game (the one where I have to match three identical dollar amounts to win that amount). If I had got one more I could have actually won that amount. And I canít remember which day this happened, must have been Friday (February 1st) if that was the only other day my dad brought home scratches since I saw you last Thursday. Anyway, my dad brought home scratches for all three of us whichever day this was. He got me a ďHOT 25Ē though my mom was the only one who won that day, neither my dad or myself won anything.

The new casino (the one in Queensborough) was the one that my parents ended up going to when you were with me last Thursday (January 31st), they didnít have any luck there. My mom thinks that they need to find a casino that pays her something. After the casino, they came back to South Surrey and picked up my dadís progressive glasses before they went and did their grocery shopping. We had a phone call the night before letting us know that his glasses were ready.

My mom still doesnít seem very supportive about the idea of me sending anything to Carol for Valentines Day but if I do end up sending her a card and if I send her a letter with the card, then could I tell her in the letter that I want to live with her even though Iím aware that the probability for me living with her doesnít look good. She (Carol) also made it clear to me that she wants her own life when she retires from her school job and after Pete moves out, but I think in my opinion that sheís making a mistake when she says that she wants to live by herself. I already told you that she has stomach problems just like I do and another thing that her and me have in common is the fact that neither of us like to travel too much.

Even after your story that you told me yesterday about your relative who had drug problems, I donít think Iíll ever forgive my dad after what happened this last time. I forgave him enough times in my life and the same thing still happens again later on, sometimes weíll be good for as long as eight months before it happens again and I say every time that because this has happened enough times I canít trust that it wonít happen again. I feel that this shouldnít ever happen again if I live with Carol. You said in your story that you would only forgive your relative once again if he got some help because you had already forgave him enough times before then. He got help so you forgave him and then later he went back to the drugs and this time stole your leather jacket. He got help again and you forgave him again except this time you would keep a closer eye on him. I also remember you telling me that you and your wife, Dianne, could have a fight at anytime and that we canít change the past. And I already knew before you saw me yesterday that there arenít any (or probably very few if any) families who donít fight and that most families have an argument or a disagreement at some point, if I could live with Carol I would like to keep any fights that weíd end up having to nothing more than the small arguments/disagreements that would occur between people like my friend, Mac, and his mom for example...just two people exchanging words. Iím also keeping in mind the fact that Carol might not send me anything back if I send her something again. Sheís too scared of me, she canít trust me to be left alone wit her ever again, and she no longer wants anything more to do with me after what happened last August that separated us. A few months after she stopped working with me and just before I met you for the first time, my mom said to me that I never know who the person Iíll connect with will be and then she said it might be you. Until what happened in August, Carol and me had never had any problems between ourselves and up until then I had looked forward to knowing her for a long time and knowing her for as long as sheís around. Even now, I still rather she be the person I connect with. I never wanted to have the same connection between Carol and myself that is now between her daughter, Krista, and a boy named Tyson who Krista use to do respite for.

And I still donít think I want to ride with my dad in the same car to my appointment next Thursday morning with the ďFraser Valley Mental Health Support Team.Ē Here is an excerpt from the E-mail I sent you on Wednesday Jan.16,2008 after that nurse came to visit:

> ...I have almost a month to make this decision, either keep seeing the one on Scott Road (on this side of the river) who I
> have a hard time understanding because she speaks with an accent or regularly drive over to Coquitlam to see this other
> one. I still donít feel comfortable with having this whole assessment done in general, especially knowing the fact that
> Carolís not around any longer and not there to support me makes the whole thing even harder and more uncomfortable for
> me. At this point, it seems now like the days when I used to live in Whalley before I moved to South Surrey were the better
> days.

And I still donít feel too comfortable right now about going to my appointment all the way over in Coquitlam next week. I donít think Iím ready to go that for that long of a drive right now, especially knowing that I have to get up early that morning. My parents will probably want to leave here around 9AM if the appointmentís at 10AM because it could take an hour to drive over there. Iíd therefore probably have to get up around 7 that morning so I have enough time to get ready and thatís early for me, Iím worried that the night before that day could be a repeat of the one I had last week where I only got a couple hours of sleep (or maybe this time I might not get any sleep at all) or where Iím up going to the bathroom lots. I think this whole thingís just too big of a step for me for right now.

That nurse also left a bunch of forms with my parents for them to fill out when she came here on that day last month, She told my mom to phone her a week before our appointment and sheíd come pick them up. My mom called around 11AM last Thursday (Janruary 31st) and left a message on her machine. She called back just after you left that same day, she came here and picked up the forms at 11:45AM yesterday before you came.

Now regarding changing doctors, I told you two messages ago what Carolís boundaries are for driving so if I still have to see a physiatrist once Iím living with her keep in mind that she probably wonít want to drive me if we decide to permanently switch over to the one in Coquitlam. My psychiatristís office (the one on Scott Road) phoned our house just after my mom left the message with the nurse last Thursday morning to let us know that they have sent off all their records that they have of me to the place in Port Coquitlam and then they asked if weíll still be seeing them. My mom then told them weíll decide after we go the first time to the place in PoCo next week.

I asked my mom after you left yesterday and she never remembers me having any arguments with any friends or teachers when I went to school, but she said that she does remember a few times when the teachers werenít very helpful though. You also asked me while we were scanning last Thursday how many words per minute can I type and whether I learned how to type at school or on my own. My mom thinks that I learned how to type on my own because we had a computer at home before I started using school computers for the first time, but I don't remember though how many words per minute I can type. The last time I knew how many words per minute I could type would have probably been back when I went to school many years ago.

Here again are the portions from two messages a go that you said you missed :

> ...I havenít done anything more in that binder since doing the front yard plan in the spring of last year (Spring 2007), I
> already told you that I confined myself to the couch since what happened a few days after Christmas except for
> going on the computer to lookup stuff for and send E-mails to you. Maybe we could do some of my scanning when
> youíre here tomorrow afternoon after I have my snack, I have more pictures piling up waiting to be scanned in and
> then printed out for the binders of dog and cat pictures that Iím putting together including those ones you saw at my
> place in The Province newspaper of last yearís Pet Superstars contest so maybe we better get some done
> now before the newspaper pages start turning yellow.

> ...My shoe size can be anywhere from size 9 to size 11 depending on the style and the make, the pair of shoes
> that I currently wear every time you and me go out together are size 9.

And now the portion from the last E-mail I sent you:

> ...I had four for dessert at lunch yesterday instead of two, and this way theyíll be gone sooner if I have four each time I > have these for dessert at lunch. These gingerbread men have chocolate on their backs and are iced a bit on the front,
> but these gingerbread men are a bit softer than the bigger ones I told you that we found at Save-On before Christmas
> and those gingerbread Santas I got from the Hillcrest bakery the year before. Those harder gingerbread men from
> Save-On and the gingerbread Santas would be my preference

You thought that I was getting a lot of scanning done when you were here two days ago, the pile we were working on that day is just the beginning...After we do the few images I have left at the bottom of that pile, I have a lot more including more pictures cut out of the newspapers, old calendar pictures, etc. I left the images we had done on the screen after you left for my parents to look at sometime while I wasnít in that room. They thought that the only one we need to redo is the one that I attached to this message (image2.bmp) in a ZIP file. I left the images we did yesterday on the screen again after you left including the one that we redid and they thought everything looks good and we are now all done with that pile. You can see in the ZIP file that I attached both the first time we scanned that image where you can see newspaper printings from the other side of the page and compare that to the second image and after I cropped the edges around some of the second Bitmap file. The first time we scanned this image last Thursday must have been one of the very first images we did before we started putting the piece of black construction paper behind our images when we put them on the scanner.

You also see in the above excerpt from the last E-mail that I have confined myself to the couch since what happened a few days after Christmas. I havenít eaten a meal at the kitchen table since before what happened, ever since then I have eaten all of my meals on the couch with a TV table in front of me. If I get to live with Carol however, I would eat at the table with her as soon as Iím living with her. Iím also taking a break from watching the news [except I caught a bit of that Global National news special that was on last Sunday evening (see below)] until Iím living with her, havenít saw any news since before what happened. I havenít been anywhere out of the house since before Christmas day except going out with you. Just like you, Iíve spent more time on computer than anywhere else up until what happened...since what happened though, the only times I have been on the computer while youíre not around would be when I type up my E-mails to send to you.

We had a phone call from my cousin one day last week, the one who lives in Langley near where Kris lives. Remember I told you that she wanted me to make a slideshow on the computer for her after I finish working on my grandparentsí home movies. I guess now I most likely wonít be finishing the home movies if I no longer want anything to do with my own family after what happened and would rather be with Carol. Anyway, my cousin said in that phone call last week that sheís in no hurry for her slideshow to be done even though I probably wonít end up doing that now either.

While we were doing our scanning last Thursday, you were looking at my CDs on the rack and saw the game ďReturn to Castle Wolfenstein.Ē My parents downloaded it for me for free off KaZaA for my 20th birthday back in October of 2002 and then I burnt it myself onto a CD. They said they had to download it because they say that they ďcouldnít find a copy of that game in any of the storesĒ which I do not believe because I remember going into Future Shop not too long after they downloaded it for me and saw they had lots of copies. I burnt a copy of my RTCW CD for my friend, Mac, after I burnt if for myself and then he later bought himself a legal copy. Maybe Iíll have a legal copy of this game myself sometime in the future. I made it to the end of and finished RTCW a few months after I got it for my birthday...ĒI played most of it in God mode.Ē Another one of the old DOS games I played is ď Wolfenstein 3Dď (AKA classic Wolfenstein) which is the game that RTCW is the sequal to. I finished all six episodes in this series, while not in God mode that is, but that was more than ten years ago back when I lived in Whalley and before I even found out that a lot of these old classic PC games have God mode. I havenít played any games on the computer for four or five years until I played that Catz game with you before Christmas, Iíd feel safer playing my games once Iím living with Carol while no longer having to worry about another repeat of what I said above keeps happening between me and my dad and while knowing that Iíll never have to see either of my parents again. Maybe one of the things Iíd do once Iím with Carol would be play RTCW again (but not in God mode this time) and write my own walkthrough as I go along and then print it out in size 24 font and put it all in one binder...Iíll have made my own hint book. I think that RTCW, classic Wolfenstein 3D, and the ďSpace QuestĒ series are all more popular than and probably a lot more people have heard about these games that the amount who know about ďEntrap.Ē I guess we were right when we thought last Thursday that youíll probably learn what a lot more of the games that I like are as I keep E-mailing you, maybe one day I could go through all the PC games I have and then send you a list of all the ones that I currently own and all the ones that I have played.

Also while we were doing our scanning last Thursday, you were looking at our list of phone numbers which hasnít been updated for a long time. We still have Carolís number and all of Davidís numbers on there, we havenít got any of your numbers on that list yet. Another number we donít have on that list yet...My friend, Kris, got his first cell phone not long after Christmas but Iím not having anything more to do with either of my friends unless I see Carol again. Now speaking about my cousin, David Freylinger, who passed away two Christmases ago, our home phone rang one day last week. It was a recorded message saying that ďConcept 2 LightingĒ owes money. Concept 2 Lighting (ďC2LĒ or ďc2lĒ for short) was the name of his own lighting business that he had for the last few years before he passed away. My dad couldnít understand the message so he just hung up. If whoever recorded the message recorded it because he thinks that David is still alive, you think heíd know by now if heís been gone for just over two years.

Iíll have a talk with my mom tonight and if you get back to me Iíll write you again tomorrow with an agenda for if we decide to go shopping on Thursday. Even if we decide not to, I could still write you again if you get back to me with an alternate agenda for Thursday. My dadís thinking about taking Thursday afternoon off again this week, now the fifth time in a row, because theyíre having a Chinese New Year celebration at his work that afternoon and heís not really interested in going. If we do decide to shop that day, my dad could stay home and then my mom could pick him up and then take off with him somewhere for the rest of the afternoon when she drops off you and me back at my place.

I had originally thought that if I do send Carol a package, I could send with it a list of everything I got for Christmas as well as either a duo-tang or small binder with some of the E-mails you and I been sending back and forth. Iím sure there are small bits of information scattered throughout the E-mails that Carol should know about me. If we decide to shop at Save-On on Thursday, we could take you next door to Staples while weíre there and my mom could show you which kind of half inch binders I like. Even a cheap binder from London Drugs or any other store might work for this if I do end up sending one to Carol either now or anytime in the future. One thing to think of might be the fact that I would be kept busy in the afternoons youíre not around putting together the E-mails and this way I wouldnít just be sitting around. Iíd pay with my own money if it costs extra to send all that I plan to send her, I could even go to the post office with you to send this and you could show me how to do my own mailing. I could even show you all the dollar stores in my area and we could look in the dollar stores to find some Valentines wrap to wrap the chocolates in. You'll know my community of South Surrey in no time if we go to the post office and if I show you all the dollar stores. We should hopefully have no problems finding a small box to put the chocolate hearts in and then you could help me wrap them.

Do you ever notice when I send you E-mails that sometimes I repeat what happens during each of our visits the last time before I E-mail you like for example what I like to have for breakfast or your story about your troubled relative. The reason why I do this is incase Carol ever does see the E-mails, I donít want her to miss one bit of what happened in my life since she stopped working with me last August:

ē ē The night after last Wednesday (January 30th) and before Thursday, every time I either put my head on the pillow or laid back my left ear would ring and the ringing in that ear wouldnít go away until I got up and moved around for a few seconds. To add to this, you already know my right earís been plugged for the last few weeks and is still a bit plugged now.

ē I caught a bit of that Global National news special that was on last Sunday evening while my mom was waiting for her TV show, House, to start. My mom was getting impatient for a while waiting through this news special because she didnít know how long it was going to go on for and when her House was going to start. Anyway, I caught during the news special what should be the two biggest events making news right now, the Super Bowl and the Super Tuesday. There was a team from Boston that had won every game until the Super Bowl last Sunday, it was the New York team that won in the end.

ē My mom had a phone call from my dad an hour before you came yesterday. He said that he had to take the Pattullo Bridge into work yesterday morning. He normally goes Alex Fraser but there was a Ten Car Pile Up in the tunnel, this pile up had closed the tunnel for a few hours yesterday morning so most people who would normally go that way went Alex Fraser causing that route to back up. My mom says that icy conditions are probably to blame. My mom didnít first see this story on the news yesterday until only a minute or two after she got off the phone with my dad, When my dad phoned at lunch today, he said itís still snowy in some areas and it was slushy where the one lady in my dadís carpool lives (near White Rock Centre) when he picked her up this morning.

ē Another story that was on the news yesterday was the one about the UBC engineering students who hung a Volkswagen from the Lions' Gate Bridge, therefore traffic was also held up in that spot yesterday.

Wow, John, this is probably the longest message I sent you ever. Maybe the next one will be shorter than this.


P.S. Our evil make that our enemy...the dreaded Canada Line car made by Hyundai.

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